|
 What is it about supermarkets that attract certain city folk looking to hook-up?
Last night I had an unexpected craving for Coco Pops (no, not the munchies) and after grabbing my keys and wallet soon found myself drifting about the aisles of the local supermarket.
Thing is though, whenever I think I’ll just pop out quickly, I tend to step out in whatever I’m already wearing – which meant last night I was daft enough to head out unshaven in my track-pants, which I soon discovered also have a tendency to fall down.
Quite the picture isn’t it?
Moi wandering aimlessly through the aisles – unshaven and hitching my pants up every second or third step, hunting down breakfast cereal as staff bustled about trying to close up for the night.
And it seems every time I just ‘duck down the road’ with no effort whatsoever going into appearance, I invariably run into someone who wants to have a chat.
Or should I say – someone always manages to spot me and track me down, evidently without much regard for my preference to just go about my business as quickly and painlessly as possible.
Some people – ppft.
So anyway... after politely excusing myself, I was soon surveying the avocados, completely oblivious to my surrounds – and much to my surprise, I found myself looking up straight into the (piercing green bedroom-eyes) of some guy checking me out. What’s more – he spoke.
“Few late-night groceries, huh?”
“Mmm, yup” I replied, cringing at the redundant pick-up line. Needless to say, I made a beeline for the check-out and left without so much as a glance back.
I mean, what was I supposed to say? “Got that right, sexy-eyes... oh and hey, I live just around the corner, so how ‘bout we head back to my crib and make like wild animals?”
Now I realise this might be up your alley. But it seems it’s just not for me. And yep, I’ve often been labelled anal, vanilla, etc, etc. But I dunno – it just seems soo forward. And who do they think they are anyway – catching me unawares like that with their wanton good looks and cheeky grins?
I guess when heading into the supermarket to pick up some cereal, I don’t quite plan on walking out with a ‘DTE 8-inch-cut versatile-top’ instead.
I think I first learnt of this urbanite mating ritual on an episode of Tales of the City... or it might have been Queer as Folk. Whatever the case, I’ve also since discovered such practices aren’t just reserved for horny queens. Seems it’s quite the done thing for many a single, late night city-shopper – gay, straight or otherwise.
Well, whatever floats ya boat, I say. And if romance should happen to find you in Fruit & Veg – so be it. Maybe I’m just old fashioned – or maybe I really am becoming quite the Nanna.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a bowl of Coco Pops to tend to.
- Hard Driver
Had a similar experience? Have your say below, or email Hard Driver:
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
 |
Subscribe to this comment's feed