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Starring Rupert Everett, Colin Firth
Directed by Oliver Parker
Rupert Everett stars as both Clarence and Millicent Fritton in this update of the much loved Ealing comedy.
Yet truth be told, The Belles of St Trinians (1957) was never much of a film and this remake is a woeful attempt that exists solely to celebrate stupidity and delinquency.
Fritton runs an institution noted for free expression. The raucous students are ungovernable yet band together when a new Education Minister threatens their head mistress.
There was a faint possibility that St Trinian’s would be so bad it would be good. After all, Parker had successfully directed Everett in An Ideal Husband and The Importance of Being Earnest. But it isn’t good. It’s simply bad.
With two decent lines in the entire script – one involving the mishearing of the word count and another in which Millicent remarks: “Don’t you think I’d make a remarkable queen?” – we’re left pondering one failed attempt after another to shock, inspire or entertain.
Not that the young women in our audience seemed to mind the inane dialogue, slack structure, sloppy script or shoddy technicals as served by Parker and his pals. Perhaps St Trinian’s is closer to the reality of a girl’s school than we’d like to think.
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