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 BLOODY HELL!
As Queerty reported, it seems little Popey can’t take a joke...
But unfortunately for one irreverent Italian, nor can Italy’s Justice Ministry... They’ve given the green light for prosecutors to use a fascist-era law against comedienne Sabina Guzzanti, who recently took aim at his Holiness. She is accused of ‘offending the honour of the sacred and inviolable person’ of Pope Benedict XVI.
The satirist and comedian, during a routine at a rally in Rome in July, (rightfully) poo-pooed the Vatican’s meddling in issues such as gay rights.
“Within twenty years the Pope will be where he ought to be, in Hell, tormented by great big poofter devils – and very active ones, not passive ones,” she Guzzanti said. Gold! I must admit I find the idea of the Pope being roughly sodomised slightly cathartic - legs in the air, red Prada mules pointing to the ceiling.
Now Roman prosecutors have been given permission to proceed against her under the 1929 Lateran Treaty. The treaty, between the Vatican and the Italian government, was signed when fascist leader Benito Mussolini was in power. It stipulated that an insult to the Pope carries the same penalty as an insult to the Italian President.
Obviously a sense of wry humour runs in the Guzzanti family though – Sabina’s father, the right-leaning MP Paolo Guzzanti, wagged a finger at the pending prosecution, saying “[This is] a return to the Middle Ages. Perhaps my daughter should be submitted to the judgment of God by being made to walk on hot coals.”
 BUTT OF THE JOKE
This is hilarious.
Call in the cavalry! Police and residents in Valetine, Nebraska are poised at the ready to apprehend a cheeky prankster with a penchant for exhibitionism.
Apparently some man has been skipping from one business to another in the dark of night, pressing his naked behind – sometimes his groin, sometimes both – on windows! It’s a nightmare!
It’s easy to tell exactly which windows get a bum rap – store owners, church workers and school janitors have had to wash lotion and petroleum jelly off the windows he selects.
And police Chief Ben McBride is very cross, saying “this is the weirdest case I’ve ever seen”. He obviously needs to get out more. A wad of gum in his mouth, he didn’t crack a smile as he talked about the case. “It’s not funny,” he said. “We’re worried about the next step.”
What? He might move onto actual people? That’s foreplay in some circles.
 LENNON’S GAY OLD TIME
Paul McCartney and Yoko Ono are a little pissed about Philip Norman’s homoerotic innuendo in his new book, John Lennon: The Life.
In it Norman claims Lennon wanted to have sex both his own mother and McCartney.
Ono and Macca are especially perturbed because they both fully co-operated with Norman, and Ono even agreed to be interviewed. Suffice it to say, they are now distancing themselves from the literary firebomb, and Ono has completely withdrawn her endorsement.
Apparently a ‘friend’ said: “Both Sir Paul and Yoko are extremely angry and upset”.
Well, on the flipside I suppose it’s nice to see Yoko and Macca come together, right now...
 WING AND A PRAYER
This is so horrifying it’s almost funny.
North Carolina-based C3 Entertainment will this month produce a play asserting people can not only pray the gay away, but also AIDS! While the play is a work of fiction, C3’s factually-challenged founders believe it’s based in fact.
C3 Entertainment management, Rev Chad Everette Cooper and his wife Alicia Robinson Cooper, describe the play as portraying “the church as the best institution in the world for complete healing and deliverance”.
In a February interview with Praise the Lord (‘Holy Mother of God’ would perhaps be a more appropriate title), a program aired on Evangelical Christian broadcasting network TBN, the Coopers described homosexuality as a condition in need of a cure. They also relayed the story of an associate pastor who was “healed” from not only that dirty little condition called homosexuality, but AIDS as well.
Cooper told the no-doubt blindly faithful (or faithless, depending on how you look at it) audience of Christian fundamentalists that Kofi Hemingway “was living a homosexual lifestyle 10 years ago. He gives his testimony at the end of play about how he was so engulfed in this lifestyle that all of his partners died of AIDS.” He then further described how God cured Hemingway’s AIDS infection.
“He was dying of AIDS,” Cooper declared before suggesting that after three days of prayer and fasting, Hemingway “began to pick up his weight and the sores began to dry up and he went and took the test again and he’s AIDS-free.” Yeah, just like the crisis in the Middle East will be solved by a big group hug.
What Cooper conveniently failed to mention was that Hemingway has previously admitted that he had never taken an HIV test prior to his “healing”.
Ah, the Christians – they’re so silly.
- Garrett Bithell
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