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LEFT FOOT IN MOUTH
I have to say I’m excited about the Australian edition of So You Think You Can Dance? It’s not even a guilty pleasure; it’s unadulterated, car-crash/wish-fulfillment fantasy viewing.
The audition episodes always provide a tasty mix of genuine talent, emotional blackmail (“I send money home to feed my village if I get to Sydney.”) and jaw-dropping self-delusion.
The latter was provided this week by ‘CJ’, who, I think it’s safe to say, bats for our team. His proclamation that Australia could do with ‘a male version of Madonna’ was a bit of a giveaway, but then there was his defensive, bitchy attitude after the judges failed to recognise his talent. This might have had something to do with the fact that he was excruciatingly average.
All I could picture was CJ and family watching the episode and shuddering. It’s the same uneasy feeling I get when I imagine someone’s mother accidentally stumbling upon a porn site, only to be greeted by an endlessly looping animated gif of her son fellating some disembodied penis.
In any case, I wish CJ well in pursuing his dream of “shining in physical form”.
BABY LOVE
As a dedicated Simpsons fan, I was a little late in jumping on the Family Guy bandwagon. Still, it’s undeniably one of the funniest and most subversive things on TV. And it has Stewie, the camp, caustic baby who, according to creator Seth MacFarlane, is “almost certainly gay”.
MacFarlane was interviewed recently in The Advocate and when asked to which character gay fans respond the most, he didn’t hesitate:
“Generally they respond to Stewie, because he’s arguably the most complex character. He originally began as this diabolical villain, but then we delved into the idea of his confused sexuality. We all feel that Stewie is almost certainly gay, and he’s in the process of figuring it out for himself.”
As for negative reactions:
“We’ve had letters from homophobic fans in the past, and I sort of relish the idea of saying, ‘Yeah, well, you know what? Your favourite character, Stewie, is gay.’”
It’s a wide-ranging interview in which MacFarlane comes across as one of those genuinely open-minded straight guys who nevertheless expresses bemusement when comes to the, um, ins and outs of homosexuality.
When asked why the show seems fascinated with ‘tops’ and ‘bottoms’, MacFarlane responded:
“I’m not quite sure, but it is a source of comedy. It’s as if there’s paperwork involved before the sex can take place.”
DO NOT DISTURB
I can’t help but chuckle when I see an ad for a gay niche party that stipulates ‘no deodorant’. It’s all about ‘man smell’, apparently, which is evocative of a number of things.
Is it the pungent smell of hard, sweaty hours on a construction site? The musk of a man who’s just finished a punishing glute workout? Perhaps it’s that last lingering whiff of emotional suppression?
In any case, Tom of Finland (the company, not the late artist) is releasing its first fragrance through Etat Libre d’Orange.
According to The Scented Salamander website, they insisted the scent “does not disturb the odour of men”. Indeed, perfumer Antoine Lie insisted it had to smell like “a guy coming out of a shower. He’s clean, but not fragranced. And he puts on leather pants”. But wait, there’s more (or less, depending on your sensibilities):
“There is also an outdoorsy aspect to the scent and themes of ‘metal, leather, sensuality, beauty and radiance’ inspired by Tom of Finland’s drawings.”
So how exactly does one capture this spirit of hypermasculine je ne sais quoi? All you need is “a crumpled leaf, suede, metal, pepperwood, iris, tonka, vetiver and musks”. That and a third leg.
PRUDE AWAKENING
Speaking of provocative consumer goods, the fashion label Abercrombie and Fitch have long embraced sexually charged advertising imagery; their Bruce Weber-shot catalogues fairly oozed carnal promise.
It’s a sign of the times then that their latest, relatively chaste, campaign has come under fire in Virginia.
After locals complained about the large shopfront images (pictured) displayed in the company’s Lynnhaven Mall outlet, police ordered their removal.
The store’s manager faced a $US2,000 fine for displaying “obscene materials” and up to a year in jail if convicted.
It seems that one inch of buttcrack was simply too much for the fine folk of Virginia Beach. Still, sense has prevailed; the Richmond Times-Dispatch reports that charges have been dropped. As A&F declared in a media statement:
“The marketing images in question show less skin than you see any summer day at the beach. And certainly less than the plumber working on your kitchen sink.”
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