PINK PREY
Question – do you hunt, or are you the hunted?

Might sound odd, but I believe the theory is that when it comes to mating and dating, we generally fall into one of the two categories: we either do the chasing or prefer to be chased. And the concept supposedly allows few shades of grey, like being ‘versatile’ in bed, for example. Now if the theory is to be believed, I’m most definitely pink prey. Embarrassingly so. It’s just not in me to approach strangers and suggest matters of the flesh. And besides, I couldn’t be assed.

Then again, I’ve never really understood those who can’t have a good night out unless they pick up – some even heading off to sex venues to ‘complete’ their night if unable to score. But I just don’t get it. I guess when I go out, I’m stepping out to have fun with whoever I’m with, or for entertainment – yet I’ve often found myself surrounded by a sea of darting eyes and awkward mating rituals, sometimes feeling like I’m trapped in the ‘storyline’ of low budget porn. And I think about the closest I’ve come to a pick up line is, “Having a good night?”, and even that was just a polite response.

So I guess I got to thinking – am I in the minority here? Is there something wrong with me? Or am I just kidding myself, really being more your passive-aggressive wallflower type? And boy, I’ve known some shameless passive-aggressive sexual hunters, who give the allusion of being chased, but who remain in abundant control. But for whatever reason, I’m just not wired that way. Last time I went out, I was approached at least four times, and all I really wanted to do was chinwag with my friend – and I inveigle myself not. I suppose I should think myself lucky or something, but I just find it all a bit intrusive and presumptuous. And besides, that’s what the internet’s for nowadays - isn’t it?

Don’t get me wrong, I have allowed myself to be picked up within a matter of minutes and without a word being spoken, though I guess it also depends where I am and in what state. But I hasten to add; I’m by far smug enough to think I’m the living, breathing quintessence of universal desire. Oh that sounds so bloody artsy-fartsy, but you get what I mean.

So which are you? I think I’ll stick to being wooed for now. There’s something about the thrill of a good chase too. Then there are those who don’t seem to be either hunters or prey, who just take whatever they can get. But I think they’re called sluts.

Damien Stephens

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