Stand Out

There are those of us in the queer community who decide not to embrace stereotypes of homosexuality, or wear our sexual preferences on our sleeve, ear, t-shirt or out of our back pocket – and it’s got to stop.

I’m as guilty as the next person. While I don’t actively seek to pass as straight, my particular styles and looks don’t scream ‘lesbian’. There are thousands of bent men and women who don’t ‘look’ gay and it’s doing the whole community a disservice. Assimilation is the enemy of homosexual visibility and does none of us any good.

I’m not suggesting that the macho men among you become campy and start draping feather boas around your muscle-toned torsos, nor the long-haired lesbians cut off their crowning glory and don Birkenstocks. But, it’s time to start signifying that we’re queer again. Bring back badges that say so, rediscover labrys earrings, pop a pink armband on your wrist. Or just get a tattoo on your forehead. It doesn’t matter what, as long as it’s very clear to observers that despite your trendy look or individual expression of style, you are a big poof or lezzo.

Why, you may ask, am I advocating such a move when the fashionable thing nowadays is to reject labels and declare sexuality to be fluid? Well, all that rhetoric is fine and dandy in theory, in academic circles, or sitting round a camp fire pontificating the state of the world after downing some magic mushrooms – but in the real world, it’s extremely important to publicly signify your same-sex proclivities. Because if you don’t ... you’ll miss out on being able to buy cool stuff.

Let me explain. Recently I received a press release for a CD containing a certain kind of dance music from a dance party held in Australia. I forwarded it to our advertising team so they could follow it up to see if the promoters wanted to place an ad in our publications. One of the ad team duly rang up and asked, only to be told, ‘Gay people don’t go to the party so why would they buy the music?’ See, this is how the straights think, especially those in promotions, publicity and entertainment: “If it’s not covered in glitter and singing the latest Kylie hit, it’s not a gay man; all lesbians have cropped hair and wear jackboots. I saw none of these at the dance party, therefore there were absolutely no gay people in attendance.”

It’s imperative we change these perceptions. Not by blending in but by standing out. You can still adopt a retrogoth or indie style, but accessorise: Cut the word ‘BUM-BANDIT’ or ‘MUFF-DIVER’ out of an old breakfast packet, thread string through the top and wear it round your neck. Whenever you meet new people, announce your name, followed by ‘And I’m GAY’. It’s the little things like this that will really help our cause. We must remain visible. It may not get us marriage rights, but at least our music collections will be complete.

Katrina Fox

Email me at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it  

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