SURGING URGES
The debate over whether homosexuality is in your genes or a life choice will probably continue to rage for many more decades to come. I know lesbians who made a conscious choice to be so and others who insist they were born that way. The ex-gay brigade would have us believe that sexuality can be controlled and if you’re gay you don’t need to act on your sexual urges. But how much does willpower come into it? Are some urges so inherently biologically determined that we’re literally unable to control ourselves?

Certainly when I’m premenstrual my body appears to be telling me to eat Leda Choculence choccie biscuits for comfort (lovely vegan delights without the usual blood and pus that’s in dairy), but I have done mental battles with myself occasionally and resisted.

Of course ethics come into play that determine whether we succumb to our urges. No matter how much I think I need chocolate, I’m never going to indulge in a Twix or Mars Bar because of the cruelty involved in dairy. And of course no one should be able to get away with acting out their sexual desires in a non-consensual manner with anyone else (including non-human sentient beings).

But sometimes you’ve just got to either toss off or duck into an alley for a quickie. And if you’re on the verge of an orgasm, there’s not much that’s going to stop you. Not your mother walking in on you, or even an earthquake (in fact, that may help with all those tremors!). Not even your Aunty Mary who catches you lying face down on the communal passageway in your apartment block having a wank (yes, it’s true – I looked up, thought ‘oh shit’, but even her horrified, disbelieving face wasn’t enough to stop those waves of pleasure). Or, in the case of Mduduzi Michael Bandezi and Sibongile Radebe: death. The couple, who were both in their early 20s, laid down on train tracks in South Africa to have sex, according to the Sowetan newspaper. A goods train approached and despite repeated hooting from the driver, who spotted them at a distance, the couple “continued with their business” Superintendent Abie Khoabane told the newspaper. Needless to say they were both killed.

I can understand the thrill of doing it on a rail track and the element of risk. But to choose to come, even if it means dying, seems a bit extreme. Then again, the French call an orgasm ‘le petit mort’ which translates as ‘the little death’. In further irony, Mr Bandezi’s half-naked body was found with a condom still on. Remember, people, that safe sex is a broad concept.

Katrina Fox

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