Out of the mouths  of Irishmen

The following is an extract from a conversation I recently had with an Irish friend in Dublin, beginning with that age-old of questions:

Irishman: ‘So, are you guys allowed to marry each other in Australia?’

QP: ‘Not really. Same-sex marriages were outlawed a few years ago.’

‘Oh. Are there civil unions instead?’

‘Nope.’

‘So it’s totally illegal there?’

‘Well, marriage is – but in a couple of states like Victoria and Tasmania, they have what are called relationship registries, which ensure most of the same legal benefits and protections for gay couples as straight ones.’

‘So only some states have full equality? Is that because it’s all governed at state level?’

‘No, there are federal laws as well, but nothing really happened at that level while Howard was in power. It’s good though – now we have a new government and they’ve just announced they’re going to reform most of the federal laws to make gay couples equal.’

‘So civil unions will be allowed?’

‘Nope, but the law will be equal.’

(Pause.)

‘So in other words, some states have relationship registries, which for all legal intents and purposes are like marriage.’

‘Basically, yes.’

‘And federally, the government is going to ensure gay couples have legal equality.’

‘Yeah.’

‘So the Australian government supports legal equality for gay couples, but doesn’t support gay marriage or civil unions and wants to leave relationship models to the states.’

‘Pretty much.’

‘But if it supports equality, why doesn’t it just legislate for federal civil unions and make everything simple and straightforward for everybody in the country?’

(Pause.)

‘I … don’t know.’

‘And they say the Irish are stupid.’

At that point, downing a pint of Kilkenny was all that could be done.

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