Opinion | So Anyway |
| Thursday, 17 July 2008 02:07 |
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GRUNGE BOB IMPLANTS So the main problem I have with this bi-weekly thingy is that I change my mind five times each week about the subject. Half form ideas in my head of what I want to write about then I promptly forget. Being a driver I’ve come to the conclusion that, “Look to the right, look to the left and look to the right again”, has been left right out of teaching at schools. I think it needs to be reinstituted but adapted slightly for the new millennium. Keep the traditional rhyme and add, “Then cross the road and hurry the fuck up” onto the end of it. I want a bull bar on the front of my car so I can ram the dickwads as they saunter across the road. If I’m crossing the road and see a car approaching I’ll increase my pace to get out of their way but people just stare me down with disdain, put their nose in the air and continue on at a snail’s pace. I so want to mow them down. Maybe I need to OD on chill pills or maybe as I get older my wick (yes I said wick) gets shorter but I’ll stop now. On Monday, July 21, DIVA 2008 will be launched at Stonewall. From 7pm the bearded ladies will rock up to hear all the gossip, have a look at the poster and find out who the hosts will be on this ride through transvestitism. A hint we were given to the theme was that it will be ‘Grunge to Glamour’ although I think the theme would better reflect the night if it went ‘Glamour to Grunge’. Everybody arrives on the night looking a million bucks (well maybe $39.95 plus alcohol and pills). Then wigs slide, dresses pinch, lipstick smears and Goldilocks is left sitting in the gutter picking up what’s left of the glass slippers. As we tighten our belts (some showgirls more than others) and keep an eye on our Pennys (Tration and D), our scene seems to be going through a change. I wouldn’t say drag was dead. May the Goddesses of cross-dressing protect me from the unleashed tongue of any tall streak of toffee-nosed misery, but the evening news heralds the financial distress that many sectors of our community are experiencing. So, as many showgirls scratch around in the bottom of their purse looking for spare change and nail glue, DIVA is a more intimate affair as well but as always the attendees will be a larger-than-life, OTT group of attention-seekers. If you’ve never been to DIVAs in the past then pack a tight bong and head along to an event that rivals the Spiegeltent for quirkiness. For a taste test, pop along on Monday night to witness the before (drag queens with no make-up is so grunge) then witness the transformation to glamour on Monday, August 18, at Paddo Town hall.
Mitzi Macintosh
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