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Barry Lowe explores just how deep is his love.
“Happy Valentine’s Day!” Wally burst through the door and threw his backpack down and had the zip fly of his jeans half-way down. “Happy Valentine’s Day! (“Day! Day… )” He waited for the echo to die down. “More toys,” he sighed.
I thought that was rather obvious as I was lying on my back with my arse in the air.
“And here’s me thinking it was my Valentine’s Day present.” He zipped up again. “If you get many more of these things to test drive your arsehole will be so cavernous my dick won’t touch the sides.”
Tofu, our baby dinosaur, snorted derisively. “When daddy was lying there with his black hole open I thought it would make a great bedroom for me so I clambered inside but there’s no wireless reception for the computer. Besides it’s more cramped than it looks because of the stalagmites and stalactites,” he said.
“I do not have piles,” I sulked.
What I did have was a great selection of Rascal Toys inspired by porn director extraordinaire Chi Chi LaRue’s Rascal videos. They’re made from something called Sensafirm, which is advertised as “soft to the touch and slippery when lubricated – perfect for great anal action.
” For a change the advertising isn’t lying. It helps that they have a soft, flexible outer layer that is bonded with a silicone substrate to a hard inner core, so much better than solid rubber. Well, I don’t understand it either I just regurgitate the publicity blurb.
The Rascal Initiation Kit, a series of three cock-shaped butt plugs that increase in size from 5.5 inches to 8.5 inches, are great to get you opened up a little at a time. And after you’ve played the anal insertion mambo you may like to practise your oral technique as well – after you’ve cleaned it with liquid antibacterial soap and water of course.
They also have a more conventionally shaped butt plug, named The Intimate, probably because it managed to probe places in me no one has ever touched before. In fact, I didn’t want to take it out.
“What the hell is this?” Wally said picking up the Rascal Links.
“I thought it was a rubber Christmas Tree that had alopecia,” Tofu said. “Or else a rubber drop ear-ring for a very tall drag queen.”
“Um, that one I need help with,” I smiled at Wally. “It seems to be a bit difficult to get in on my own. A bit too flexible. I need you to feed it in.”
Wally waved it in the air like a limp fairy wand with nodules before greasing it up. Then he began feeding it link by link. I sensed this was going to be the beginning of a long and fruitful relationship. My breath was coming in short gasps, my dick was dripping and Wally was manually manipulating my throbbing appendage (don’t you just love how many ways you can say wanking my hard-on?). The only thing to spoil the moment was Tofu’s observation, “You look like you’ve got a plug stopping your arsehole.”
I kicked him across the room as I was close to coming and as I shouted “Now!” Wally grabbed the “easy-pull handle” and yanked it out, making me shiver as my sphincter was forced open then relaxed as each link was pulled through prolonging and exaggerating my sloppy orgasm.
“Looks like your arse is still hungry,” Wally grinned as he began stroking the thing I married him for. Well, one of the things.
As he aimed for the entrance Tofu called out: “Hold on, I left my iPod inside!”
The Rascal toy range is available from www.adultshops.com.au.
[Anyone who has a stimulating Valentine’s Day story – or a baby dinosaur - is encouraged to send it along with as many incredibly incriminating photographs as possible to
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